Setting my plans in motion
So even though I'm not sure if I get to have this surgery or not, I'm still suffering from the Pre-surgical jitters. You know, that feeling when your stomach is all tied in knots and you feel the butterflies flapping their wings at a speed of one hundred miles an hour? That's what's going on inside of me right now. Not to mention a full blow case of elevated blood pressure. Still, I keep making plans. What to pack, what to buy, and where to stay on the drive. A large part of me wants to believe that this is really going to happen but I can still hear that small little voice of doubt whispering in me ear, "what if...."
On a positive note, I have started cutting back on certain foods the past couple of weeks and my stomach has began to shrink. I know this because yesterday, after leaving my first job (the 10 hr work day) to head to my other job (another 5 hours left to go), I had do eat some drive through food. The closest that was on my way to my 2nd job was Carl's Jr. I grabbed myself the bacon burger combo and headed into work. After completing my meal, I learned that I can no longer eat that much at one setting. I felt as if I was going to die and was seriously considering making myself purge it from my stomach. If this is how my stomach feels now while it's at a regular size, the I need to make sure I am extremely careful with eating after the surgery.
Tomorrow will make the one month away date for me and my weeks are already flying by fast. My strict diet will start on Monday. I will be taking my Pre-surgery pictures and weight, neither of which I am looking to. Still, it must be done. I was worried about sticking to the whole "special diet" thing since caffeine has become a regular staple in my life once more with all the hours I am working to pay for this surgery. By the end of today, I will worked 71 hour with 24-28 left to go ending my week at 8pm Sunday evening. Then I will start it all over again at 6 am Monday. I am tired and cranky but I know I'm working myself to death for a good reason. I will be off work for just over two weeks. Just long enough to enjoy a few days vacation with my husband to catch up on my rest then have the surgery. We will spend 2 1/2 days driving back home, returning on a Sunday. Then my poor husband has to return to work on Monday morning. I, myself, plan on returning to work that following Wednesday, one week after my surgery.
So as of now, I have set my plans in motion and I am praying for the desired outcome. Hopefully in a months time I will be able to blog about my surgery and how well it went. Then I won't have to complain about stress or coming up with the money to pay for it, I'll only be complaining of the post-surgical gas!
On a positive note, I have started cutting back on certain foods the past couple of weeks and my stomach has began to shrink. I know this because yesterday, after leaving my first job (the 10 hr work day) to head to my other job (another 5 hours left to go), I had do eat some drive through food. The closest that was on my way to my 2nd job was Carl's Jr. I grabbed myself the bacon burger combo and headed into work. After completing my meal, I learned that I can no longer eat that much at one setting. I felt as if I was going to die and was seriously considering making myself purge it from my stomach. If this is how my stomach feels now while it's at a regular size, the I need to make sure I am extremely careful with eating after the surgery.
Tomorrow will make the one month away date for me and my weeks are already flying by fast. My strict diet will start on Monday. I will be taking my Pre-surgery pictures and weight, neither of which I am looking to. Still, it must be done. I was worried about sticking to the whole "special diet" thing since caffeine has become a regular staple in my life once more with all the hours I am working to pay for this surgery. By the end of today, I will worked 71 hour with 24-28 left to go ending my week at 8pm Sunday evening. Then I will start it all over again at 6 am Monday. I am tired and cranky but I know I'm working myself to death for a good reason. I will be off work for just over two weeks. Just long enough to enjoy a few days vacation with my husband to catch up on my rest then have the surgery. We will spend 2 1/2 days driving back home, returning on a Sunday. Then my poor husband has to return to work on Monday morning. I, myself, plan on returning to work that following Wednesday, one week after my surgery.
So as of now, I have set my plans in motion and I am praying for the desired outcome. Hopefully in a months time I will be able to blog about my surgery and how well it went. Then I won't have to complain about stress or coming up with the money to pay for it, I'll only be complaining of the post-surgical gas!
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