Desperately seeking Tanya

   So even though I'm not sure if I get to have this surgery or not, I'm still suffering from the Pre-surgical jitters.  You know, that feeling when your stomach is all tied in knots and you feel the butterflies flapping their wings at a speed of one hundred miles an hour? That's what's going on inside of me right now.  Not to mention a full blow case of elevated blood pressure.   Still, I keep making plans.  What to pack, what to buy, and where to stay on the drive. A large part of me wants to believe that this is really going to happen but I can still hear that small little voice of doubt whispering in me ear, "what if...."     On a positive note, I have started cutting back on certain foods the past couple of weeks and my stomach has began to shrink.  I know this because yesterday, after leaving my first job (the 10 hr work day) to head to my other job (another 5 hours left to go), I had do eat some drive through food.  The closest that was on my way to my

   Yesterday was the worst day so far.  The day started out good.  I was working on my "what to pack" list for my trip and writing out my meal plans for the upcoming pre-op diet that I am about to start.  I was in a great mood until I received a message from someone needing to talk to me about an upcoming event that my business is having.  The event is suppose to take place is May of 2019 at one of our favorite haunted locations one state over.  When we first set up the event, all details were discussed and the green was given for us to hold the event.  The call I received was to tell me other wise. It appears the wrong person gave us the go ahead and now we are facing issues with holding our event at their location.  Half of the tickets have already sold since we have guest investigators who are seen on one of the popular paranormal shows.  No the event is sent into a whirlwind of a mess only adding more stress on me.  I had already had a horrible weekend filled with stress

      The past two days have been really rough on me.  Payday's always seem to be the worst. You hours and hours away from home, doing what everyone else tells you to do only to get to pay day and realize you paycheck was gone before you could even see how much it was.  Like most middle class families, we tend to live pay check to paycheck.  With the economic changes that have occurred over the years and man's constant need for the new and better things has most house holds adults both working and some working two and three jobs just to make ends meet. I never in a million years thought I'd see a school requirement for a laptop.  Books and school supplies are expensive enough but now we are required to provide the teachers their supplies since the school can no longer seem to provide them with what they need to do their job.  I'm just waiting for the day that hospitals require nurses to bring our own IV supplies.    When I was younger and still living at home, I couldn

                                                                                                     Today has been a very emotional day for me.  I'm not quite sure why, nothing really happened to set it off.  I was exhausted as usual.  I didn't get home until after midnight.  I was late getting off work due to my patient having an out patients surgery.  Then I had to drive home during an Oklahoma monsoon during the busy Oklahoma City rush hour madness, then pick up my fourteen year old to take her to her "meet the teach night" (yyeeaaa).  Afterwards, I had to be to a meeting with the girls from my team to work on our upcoming events and do some planning followed by working on some paperwork we needed to get back to the publish "asap."  Only to have to push it off late due to getting stuck in yet another Oklahoma Monsoon while trying to pick up a quick dinner form the local chinese takeout, where my daughter and I ended up having a car picinic due to zero v

                                                                                                August 14th, 2018      At 0650 a.m this morning, while trying to get out of the door to head to work, I reached up to my key holder to grab my keys.  I was met with nothing, simply an empty space.  I frantically searched my home, looking in every possible place they could have been but the keys were now where to be found.  I called my husband at work, which I never do unless it's an emergency, to see if he had possibly taken them by mistake.  His voice sounded a little concerned as he took my call, only to find out it was me missing my set of keys.  He informed me that he had not taken them and I was back to square one.  I continued to look for them but to no avail.  The keys were no where to be found.  I continued to look around my home, becoming more and more panicked about missing work.  As much as i would love a day off to simply sleep, I know I can't afford it.  Each minute th

                                                                 Preface        I was hoping to start my blog the day I started this journey but as my luck would have it my lap top crashed and left me feeling like a dancer with two broken legs, incomplete and incapacitated.  I was finally able to purchase a cheaper laptop to start my blogs and finish my next two books due to the publisher within the next two months.  At least now I am able to write again, despite my horrible spelling.  Thank God for spell check.  Now if I can only figure out how to make it work on this site!  If you find yourself reading my stories, I just want to say thank you for taking time out of your busy lives to take a sneak peak into mine.  I hope I can help inspire or share some insight as to the emotions one might feel should they ever chose to take this journey themselves.                                                                                                                        August 9th,